the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am full of burrito and curiosity
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
