i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
