it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Damn victory sex feels great
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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