It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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