just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Farmville is her only friend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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