you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
