$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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