Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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