I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
