TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
