Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
