I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize