You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize