Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
