so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
