took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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