Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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