i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
