I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
