I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize