I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
