I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
