I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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