I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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