ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
