I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
