last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
