try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You made out with two different species that night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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