Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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