Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dear god my vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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