dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
