I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize