we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
