Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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