At least make sure they are 18
Why
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
