I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
