You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
