sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize