I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
