it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
