The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
