after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
