let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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