Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
