wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
