Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We left the knife in your bed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
