I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
