S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
