god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
