I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
