He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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