If i come over, it means nothing
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
