the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
