I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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