weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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