Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
