just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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