Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
