I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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