dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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