I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
