you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
