I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
