I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
