I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
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I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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