there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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