I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
