this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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