The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
