we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
